Finally, I have had time to compose the second post in my 4-part series about preconception preparation. Below are 25 tips and suggestions I have gleaned from a variety of sources that ideally would be considered at least 6-12 months before TTC:
Relationships
1. Get to know other parents and families
in your area. Try to add some parents
with small children into your social network, if you haven’t already. It doesn’t have to be all at once, but it
will help if you already know some neighbors or have a few friends with kids
when your little one arrives on the scene.
This doesn’t mean you will have to abandon all of your non-parent
friends, but you will soon need other types of support relationships in your
life. (Of course, remember to start the
relationship by getting to know the parents, not by approaching kids who don’t
know you.)
2. Consider volunteering to babysit
for a new parent you know, or just to come by the house and help out while mom
or dad is home, to initiate a relationship. (Note: Don't be offended if first-time parents aren't willing to leave their precious one alone with you. It's nothing personal.)
3. Think about joining a group that
provides help to new moms (e.g., a church meals ministry or a stork club). Not only could this help you to meet other
new parents, but will increase the chances you will be able to receive helpful
services when you have a new baby at home.
4. If you can, ask parents you know
about their experience with different health care providers and birthing
facilities that are available to you.
They are the ones who really know what it will be like working with a particular
doctor or giving birth in a specific hospital.
If you don’t know anyone you can ask, search around online for community
advice.
5. Take a preconception vacation with
your significant other or family.
Although many people now go on a babymoon, you may be more limited in
where you can go and what you can do when you are pregnant. This may be your last chance for a while to
go on that big trip you always wanted to take but never found the time
for.
Education/Career
6. If you plan to work through your
pregnancy, make sure you have good disability insurance that will help out with
expenses if you are required to be on bed rest for some or most of your
pregnancy due to health complications and risks. Getting this kind of coverage before you are
pregnant will be much easier, and some bed rest is not uncommon in the later
months of pregnancy. You don’t want to
have to disobey doctor’s orders because of financial concerns.
Physical & Mental Health
7. Start a deliberate prenatal fitness
plan (work up your exercise endurance so you can maintain it once you are
pregnant—many doctors will tell you not to start a new exercise routine once
you conceive).
8. Consider incorporating prenatal
yoga or beginner’s yoga into your workout activities. It has been reported to have many helpful
benefits for pregnant women, such as reducing physical complaints during
pregnancy, improving flexibility and endurance for childbirth, and decreasing
stress. I am not claiming these effects
have been scientifically supported (I would need to do more research to be
confident), but it still seems like it’s not a bad idea and there may even be
compelling evidence out there I don’t know about.
9. Begin to cut back on caffeine and
alcohol to prepare for a more drastic reduction just before TTC—this will
reduce your dependence and get you ready to go cold turkey without negative
side effects. (An added benefit of
reducing alcohol now is that it will make it harder for friends and
acquaintances to spot the exact moment you know you are pregnant. If, like myself, you are terrible at any kind
of deception, you will probably want to avoid arousing pregnancy suspicions
before you are ready to tell anyone.)
10. Come up with a list of targeted
questions for potential prenatal care providers. Ask about their philosophy and practice—beliefs
about pregnancy weight gain, cesarean rate, opinions about natural birth, when
they would recommend an induction, etc.
There are some standard questions that you are supposed to ask, but I
think the most important questions are the ones that particularly worry or
concern you. If you don’t care one way
or the other about being induced, for instance, you might want to save your
questions for more important topics.
Everyone always says to ask everything you want to know, but I find that
in a medical setting it is usually hard for me to get out more than a few
questions before I start to feel self-conscious. It could happen to you, too.
11. Start a deliberate stress reduction
plan. Schedule yoga, meditation,
mindfulness practices, or free time and stick to it now through birth and
beyond. Stress can interfere with
fertility, worsen pregnancy symptoms, and even make childbirth more
difficult. Plus, it can increase your
risk for pregnancy complications and make you a less happy new mom. Try to remove some of the stress from your
life now while you can.
12. Do a thorough toxicity assessment
of your home. Now is a good time to
start switching to gentler or possibly natural household cleaners and
products. You may also want to start
looking for pregnancy-friendly products for moms, such as lotions and acne
treatments, makeup, hair products, and nail care items. This is a situation in which a preconception
guide such as Before Your Pregnancy
would really come in handy.
Spirituality/Religion
13. If you are religious, decide
whether your current house of worship has the services you want for
kids/families (active kid’s ministry and youth group, a comfort room where
parents of small infants can take crying babies but still listen to the sermon,
a nursery that makes you feel comfortable, help for new moms via babysitting or
meal deliveries, a good number of attending families with young children of
different ages, etc.).
14. If you feel your current religious practice or house of
worship isn’t going to work once your family grows, start
looking around for family-friendly religious communities in your area and plug in now. I have anecdotal evidence that it is very
difficult to try out new churches with an infant.
Finances
15. Start a special savings plan or
even a separate savings account for pregnancy/birth expenses. Pregnancy and birth can be expensive, especially
if anything unusual happens with the pregnancy.
Save in a special fund that can go to unexpected medical expenses if
needed or else can be used to buy desired items for the baby.
16. Research ways to save money on
pregnancy and childbirth costs, if that is a concern for you. Consider all the major expenses and look for
low-cost alternatives: used maternity
clothes, free prenatal care, programs that cover healthy food for pregnant
women and children, baby item swap meets, Craigslist, hand me downs, etc. Lists of frugal parenting tips abound online. Just be sure to also figure out which things are NOT worth trying to save on. Items that concern your safety or your baby's safety, such as car seats, are not safe to reuse unless you are sure you know the history of the item.
Practicalities
17. Draft a will. If you think you can tackle a draft on your own, give it a try (there are lots of websites that give step-by-step instructions of how to compose a legal will). If this isn't something you feel comfortable doing yourself, now might be a good time to obtain some legal advice.
18. Determine if any major changes to
your current residence need to be made (this assumes you have already moved if
necessary, as per the previous list). If
any major renovations are required to make room for a baby (e.g., installation
of a bathtub, structural modification of a room into a nursery, removal of dangerous design
element, etc.) start working on these now. It's not necessary
at this point to decorate or buy furniture. Most will want to wait until successful conception for that bit.
19. Consider whether you will need a
more family-friendly vehicle. If yes,
time to start shopping. And don’t forget
to factor in car seat fit in the back seat (including the fit for multiple
children, if that is your plan).
20. Figure out the details of prenatal
care and childbirth coverage from your insurance provider. Is all prenatal care completely covered, maybe even without copays? Will they cover items like prenatal vitamins? How much would be covered for a routine
vaginal birth or a Cesarean? What about other needs like lactation
consultants? What if your pregnancy
becomes high risk and you need to see specialists and have extra doctor’s
visits?
21. Explore local resources for
pregnant women and new moms in your community, such as prenatal yoga sessions, parenting classes,
La Leche League, childbirth classes, walking clubs, play groups, and stork
clubs.
22. Assess your pet situation. Are you currently a no-pet family but want to
have a pet when you have a baby in the house (there is some evidence that early
exposure to pets can reduce the frequency of childhood illnesses and asthma, in
addition to their benefits to well-being)?
Having a dog that needs walking can also encourage you and your little
one to get outside more in the early days.
If you have cats, who will change their litter box during the
pregnancy? Does your current dog need
more obedience training to be ready for a baby or small child? Think about what kind of exposure to animals
you want your little one to have and figure out what changes to make in your
pet situation now. Getting a puppy and
bringing home a newborn in the same week is probably ill-advised, so decide now
how your furry (or scaly or feathery) family is going to look.
23. While I do not advocate giving up
pets just because of a change in lifestyle or stage, you may feel that you just
can’t keep one or more of your current pets.
If this is definitely your situation, start planning now to find them
the best possible new home.
Fertility & Alternate Plans
24. If you currently use oral
contraceptives to prevent pregnancy, figure out what alternate contraception
you might want to use before trying to conceive (if you want to have a few
months to track your menstrual cycle, get back to normal, and reliably identify
ovulation). Discuss with your
significant other, if applicable.
25. If artificial insemination is a
possibility or your main option, start researching sources of donor sperm. Consider available clinics and find out what
information you can know about the donors.
Think about what information you would want/need to have to feel
comfortable.
What
other tips would you suggest for women who are thinking about trying to
conceive but still have a while to go before beginning the process?
What preparations did you or do you plan to make 6 to 12 months before
trying to get pregnant for the first time?
*For further reading, see Before Your Pregnancy: A 90-Day Guide for Couples on How to Prepare for a Healthy Conception.
Although the title references the popular 3-month timeline, the guide
provides comprehensive coverage of most preconception topics and is not
very fixated on the time aspect.
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